Dr. Kim – Tired of feminazis? Time for guys to take a stand

This column is just for you guys. It has recently come to my attention that in the process of developing equality for women, the fair and just treatment of men has somehow fallen to the wayside.

A man is considered a pig – an utter chauvinist – if he uses a woman for sex or money, but women use men all the time for their own selfish personal benefit and no heads are turned. She is considered proactive, a pioneer of modern society.

When I was in the sixth grade, I sat behind this girl named Julie Reynolds in science class. One day, Julie’s pencil rolled off her desk and onto the floor. She didn’t drop it on purpose; it just fell. She promptly turned to the closest boy and said, “Tyson, will you pick up my pencil for me?”

I watched in amazement as Tyson picked up the pencil.

What had just happened? Julie was much closer to the pencil than Tyson was; she could have easily picked it up herself. In the same hand, Tyson could have just as easily told Julie to get bent and pick up her own damn pencil.

This was my first experience with man-abuse.

When it comes down to it, it’s not a matter of gender at all. Women don’t force men to do inane favors for them at gunpoint. If a man chooses to sell himself out for a coquettish “thank you,” that’s his own ignorant fault. A weak bitch is a weak bitch, be it male or female.

The reason people find fault with the way men use women is that it’s scandalous. Using women for sex and money reflects badly on both sexes, not to mention that it’s an incredibly lazy way to be resourceful. At least when women use, their greedy actions reflect creativity and insight.

Things have gone too far. It’s time for you guys to take a stand.

Men are under the false assumption that women hold all the cards when it comes to sexual power. This is an illusion. She looks like she’s holding a full house, but she’s bluffing. Confidence is a state of mind – not a right of passage.

While you boys were so busy trying to take our pants off, you failed to realize that you weren’t wearing them in the relationship. Not only have women succeeded in shattering the glass ceiling; we’ve also managed to demolish the male ego.

You don’t have to have vagina-envy anymore, manly mates. STAND UP! Man-abuse is rampant, and the double-standards have got to be stopped.

The most devastating part about this tragic development in history is that the man brings it on himself. Fellows, I encourage you to take action immediately. Not only must you stop abiding to our petty, demeaning commands, but you should also adopt the female way of attaining dominant rank in the exchange.

The next time you have one of your female friends over, ask her to take your garbage out before she leaves, and see what happens. If this works, then call her next week and tell her to clean your room for you. You may also want to recruit your more burly lady pals to do some yard work for you.

Don’t be a victim to yourself any longer. Just say no to man-abuse.

Disclaimer: Dr. Kim is not a real doctor, nor has she ever been. She’s working on it, though.

To read more of “Dr. Kim,” go to askejean.com and click on the “Top Campus Sex Columnists.”